Burnt madly into my recognition, the day I withered to ebony; underneath the summer heat, beautiful and broken, I swallowed defeat. Shimmering like a shattered diamond, I was painting roses black; opiates and cheap champagne, vodka mixed with laced cocaine. Red nose pouring on searing cement, liquor spilled, innocence killed; blood-soaked knees, to my soul I repent, I was searching for you in a bottle of pills. I promise I won’t try to overdose again, I’m really going to try not to overdose again. Breathless on the hospital bed, sweating, cardiac attack; cold wires hooked up to my chest, trazadone nightmares, a familiar mess. Heart failure, yet I was still a slave to your pain; you could stop my beating veins and I would still blur the lines, resisting arrest. I watched it fade to grey, tarnished dark inside of my memory; I swallowed the poison, I slowly decayed in those murky days of emery. A gloomy state of haze as I crawl deep inside your reveries; watch me bleach to white, relapsing on past treacheries. Blood loss during those moonless hours, overdose, my tongue forever stained sour. Who said it would be easy? The sadness I devour; overdose, dismantling beautiful flowers.
Overdose
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I can so relate to this from when I overdosed.
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So descriptive; sorry you’ve been to that place.
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You have a gift for writing so expressively and honestly.
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Thank you so much!
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Thank you for visiting my writings. This is heartbreaking to read.
So many souls in need of love. Their only desire is to know they are valuable and that someone wants them around just because.
There are so many who are dying to be reassured that such a secure state of being really does exist and they really are precious in the eyes of their Maker. And in their loneliness, they search the world for acceptance, or at least, numbness…
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Thank you so much for your input, I agree with you-needing to be reassured that a secure state of being truly exists
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This is gripping stuff, Marina… very, very powerful.
You have a real talent for writing & communication.
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Thank you so much!
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You’re very welcome: I’m looking forward to reading more…
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